“I do’s” sold separately?

Customarily, newlyweds are often gifted monogrammed “his” and “hers” hand towels in celebration of their holy matrimony. 

But luxe linens are apparently the last thing on one uncompromising couple’s list, as the fussy fiancées are giving themselves separate “his” and “hers” wedding ceremonies. 

“She wants a small wedding, he wants a big wedding,” explained an outraged Reddit user of their unnamed sister-in-law’s unconventional plans to tie the knot.

“Instead of compromising or working together, they’re each having their own wedding.”

For their nontraditional nuptials, the “boujee” bride has arranged a destination micro-wedding to be held over three hours away from the pair’s hometown.

Conversely, her groom has organized a large local bash. 

The nearly-weds have secured separate venues, hired staff and created two different gift registries, according to the post — which is firing up fury from fuming readers. 

“Dumbest, most self-centered thing I have ever heard,” scoffed an incensed commenter. 

“That’s insane,” said another, which was followed by rebuking remarks such as, “They’re doomed” and “They’re grifters conducting a massive money grab.”

“I sure would not be attending both weddings,” wrote an equally offended onlooker. 

“Definitely not [buying] two separate gifts either,” another spat. 

But, unfortunately for the Redditor, skipping out or skimping on one of the ceremonies just isn’t an option. 

“We have to go to both,” they shockingly revealed in replies to the comments. “[My sister-in-law] is being just a teeny bit bonkers and has thrown temper tantrums over it already.”