While some brides dream of having a large wedding with hundreds of guests, others gravitate toward a smaller gathering of just a few people. Over the past few years, the popularity of micro-weddings has continued to grow, fueled by the desire of couples to cut costs and eliminate unnecessary stresses. These pared-down guest lists often just include the duo’s closest family members and friends. Such is the case with one Reddit bride’s upcoming nuptials, in which she and her partner invited only nine of their loved ones to their wedding ceremony. Yet, just weeks before the big day, the user’s brother declared he wants to make that number 11—by inviting his new girlfriend and her son to the celebration. 

In a post on the site’s “Am I the A______” subreddit, the bride wrote that she has been planning her upcoming outdoor mountainside wedding for a year. She and her partner invited just nine people to the nuptials with the goal of having a private and intimate ceremony. “The family that is coming are flying in from out of state and we RARELY get everyone together like this,” she wrote. “Our parents (who are older) and closest friends aren’t invited, but they will be coming to our reception back home in a few months from now.” She added that they rented a house for the week and hired a private chef. The number of guests is particularly important, as everything is charged based on headcount. “My brother, who is 42, started dating someone less than a month ago,” she wrote. “He came to me last week telling me she would be coming to the wedding. When I told him no, his response was ‘if she can’t go, then I won’t go’ and offered to share his food with her. It was still a hard no.” Ultimately, in a push to compromise, the bride told her brother that she could come following the ceremony. 

However, the conflict over the girlfriend’s presence didn’t stop there. “Now, he is saying that the girl is planning an outing for a day to take my other brother and his kids out to get to know this girl AND she wants to bring her 8 year old son to the house rental,” the Redditor wrote. “I again tell him no and said it’s inappropriate for a young boy to meet our family after they just started dating.” While the user said that she wants to be sympathetic to her brother since he hasn’t been in a relationship for several years, she can’t understand how he “feels entitled to this.” “He completely disagrees with me and is making me feel like I’m the one being rude and unreasonable,” she added. 

Fellow users voiced their discomfort over the brother’s push. “I think you’ve gotten yourself into a pickle by not holding your ground,” wrote one person in a comment with almost 3,000 upvotes. “In any case, I think you need to call your brother and tell him that you’ve realized that it will not work out for him to bring his girlfriend and that you understand and accept that he will not be attending.” Another Redditor echoed this sentiment—with a blunt analysis: “I have food in my fridge older than his relationship, he shouldn’t be pushing for an invite for a plus one to a micro family only wedding.”