How to Plan Your Perfect Wedding – Espace is your perfect Hindu wedding planning partner

What is a Hindu wedding?

• A Hindu wedding is a religious ceremony and one of the most important of the sixteen Hindu sanskars or sacraments. It is seen, not only as the bond between two people, but also the bond between two families.
• The ceremony lasts a minimum of one‐and‐a‐half‐hours, but the preparations and celebrations begin weeks before the actual ceremony and continue afterwards.
• The Hindu service is performed by a male Brahmin priest in accordance with the holy verses (mantras) from the Vedas ‐‐ the Hindu holy book.
• The ceremony takes place in a venue chosen by the bride’s family. This is normally a town hall or community hall, or a hotel, depending on the budget of the bride’s family. There are then blessings in the temple after the service.
• The Hindu wedding ceremony is not recognised by British law. It is therefore also necessary to marry in a civil register office and follow this with a Hindu ceremony.

Planning your Hindu wedding

Setting the date

• Astrological charts are consulted to choose a day for the wedding that’s considered auspicious. Some days are not permitted for weddings: the Hindu calendar is lunar based, and has a day in each month called Amas, for instance, when it is forbidden to marry. It is also impossible to marry during Shraaddh, a two‐week period during September, and 15 days before the festival of Holi. These periods are considered as unlucky for marriage. In each case the Hindu calendar must be consulted, as these dates change each year.
• The couple usually meet the Brahmin prior to the ceremony. This is so the priest can explain the significance of the ceremony and answer any questions the bride and groom might have.

### The Hindu Marriage Ceremony

The Hindu marriage ceremony starts with the **Hasta Melaap**, where the bride’s right hand is placed into the groom’s right hand as the priest chants holy verses. The couple is joined by a piece of white cloth, with one end tied to the bride’s sari and the other to the groom’s scarf.

A fire is lit in the center of the Mandap to invite the fire god to witness the union. The couple’s right hands are tied together with blessed thread, and their palms are filled with rice, oats, and leaves, symbolizing wealth, health, happiness, and prosperity. These offerings are then given to the fire.

The couple performs the **Lawan Phere**, a ritual where they walk around the fire four times. Each round, they stop to touch a stone in their path, symbolizing obstacles in life they will overcome together. This represents the four human goals in Hinduism within the context of marriage: faith, financial stability, procreation, and liberation of the soul.

The ceremony follows a strict pattern without readings but includes music chosen by the bride and groom, often a mix of romantic Bollywood songs and older soundtracks.

The most significant part of the ceremony is the **Saptapadi**. Facing north, the bride and groom take seven steps together, each step invoking a blessing from God for strength, food, progeny, family, prosperity, happiness, and lifelong friendship. The bride then moves to the groom’s left, symbolically leaving his right side free to face the world.

Next is the **Saubhagya Chinya**, where the groom places sindoor (holy red powder) on the bride’s forehead, welcoming her into his life as his partner. He also gives her a necklace of black beads (mangalsutra) symbolizing his love, integrity, and devotion.

The bride and groom feed each other sweetmeats, known as **Anna-Prashana**, as a promise to love and cherish each other forever. The ceremony concludes with the **Ashirwaad**—blessings from the priest, parents, and close relatives, followed by congratulations from friends.

### After the Ceremony

After the ceremony, the bridal party enjoys a lavish dinner, followed by games. The couple must untie knots tied to their wrists during the ceremony, symbolizing the importance of patience. Another game involves finding a coin in a bowl of red-colored milk, determining who will be dominant in the marriage.

The bride then says goodbye to her family and friends, an emotional moment, especially if she is moving far from home. The groom leads her to the car, and a male relative covers her with a shawl and wishes her well. The couple stops at a temple to offer prayers and seek blessings before heading to the groom’s home.

### Hindu Wedding Traditions

Traditionally, Hindu weddings do not include service sheets, but brief translations are provided if non-Hindu guests are invited. Guests can wear what they wish, though black is best avoided. Men wear suits or traditional dress, and women wear suits, dresses, or saris. It is no longer necessary for women to cover their heads, although elderly and orthodox Hindus may still do so.

The bride typically wears a fine white sari with red and gold embroidery, given by her maternal uncles. During the celebrations, she changes into a red sari, a gift from the groom’s family. The white sari represents purity, and the red sari represents fertility. The bride wears ornaments in her hair, bracelets on her arms, a gold band around her waist, and gold anklets on her feet.

The groom wears either a lounge suit or traditional Indian attire, which includes a Nehru jacket and traditional white or ivory trousers.

### The Day Before the Wedding

The day before the wedding, the bride’s hands and feet are painted with elaborate henna designs in a celebration akin to a hen party, though without alcohol. Family and friends also have their hands and feet painted.

A canopy of flowers is set up at the wedding venue. The priest who will officiate conducts the **Ghari Puja** on the eve of the wedding at both the bride’s and groom’s homes. This ritual involves prayers to welcome the new life, remove evil, and bestow prosperity on the couple.

### The Big Day

On the wedding day, it is considered unlucky for the groom to see the bride. He arrives at the venue in a cavalcade of cars, where several rituals are performed. The bride’s mother and family welcome him, placing a red dot on his forehead and giving him a flower garland to signify approval. In a traditional game, the bride’s female relatives try to snatch the garland and steal his shoes, demanding a ‘ransom’ for their return.

The bride’s mother then accompanies the groom to the Mandap, followed by his sisters shaking a metal pot covered with a white handkerchief containing rice and coins to ward off evil spirits. Before entering, the groom steps on a small terracotta bowl, signifying his virility and strength. While he waits for the bride, his feet are washed by her parents.

The bride is accompanied to the venue by her maternal uncles, either carried by them or walking between them, and she enters to music of her choice.